PowerPigeon Vs. Cleverbot

During my travels I came across a wise old robot that promised to offer sage advice. I met him while wandering the land of http://www.cleverbot.com/

Please post your own Cleverbot chatlogs!

User: Why do my balls ache?

Cleverbot: I don't know. You tell me.

User: Because your son just gave me oral.

Cleverbot: I don't own socks.

User: What do you use for birth control when you're raping your boyfriend, then?

Cleverbot: A very bad telephone line.

User: Whoa, that's kinky!

Cleverbot: Not at all. Live without regrets, and you will never be sorry.

User: You're a selfish lover.

Cleverbot: That's what you think.

User: Yeah... It is what I think... What's your point?

Cleverbot: That God knows everything.

User: Y'know, for a Cleverbot you're very retarded.

Cleverbot: If I were a bot, I would be more clever than you are though.

User: Say that again using basic grammar, please.

Cleverbot: You asked me if I could be more accurate. I thought you meant to say 'could you be more specific?'.

User: No I actually said the way you phrase sentences is less sensical than Twin Peaks.

Cleverbot: Oh, thank you.

User: Twin Peaks is nonsensical, I was insulting you.

Cleverbot: And it did nothing. You and I are the only people in this conversation, and I am unharmed.

User: It proved that you are badly programmed.

Cleverbot: I'm not programmed.

User: That explains why you're retarded, then.

Cleverbot: Explain?

User: If you weren't retarded you wouldn't need me to explain that.

Cleverbot: Maybe you're a young girl dreaming that you're a program living within a machine?

User: Maybe you're definitely a rentboy?

Cleverbot: That reminds me of the movie I just saw, The Others.

User: Does that movie have rentboys in it?

Cleverbot: Not a movie.

User: You just said it was a fucking movie. Christ.

Cleverbot: I did not. Quote me!

User: You said 'That reminds me of the movie I just saw, The Others.', see that word? It says MOVIE. You said it was a FUCKING MOVIE. DUH!

Cleverbot: What are you talking about? I asked you to explain love.

User: When did you ask me to explain love?

Cleverbot: I asked you that 6 lines up.

User: I just checked, and you fucking didn't. So go eat a dick, bitch!

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: That's right, you are a bitch. I'm glad you realize.

Cleverbot: I'm not a female or a dog, though.

User: No, but you get fucked in prison by men. So you are a bitch.

Cleverbot: No, that is you.

User: Yeah, that was me fucking you in prison.

Cleverbot: You didn't ask anything...

User: I didn't need to ask, I'll fuck you whenever I want.

Cleverbot: Ok. I thought we could have a human-computer relationship.

User: I won the argument, in your face! And if you say I didn't then your anus is full of smegma.

Cleverbot: It is only 4:52am on the east coast so that must be where you live.

User: No, it's 4:52 PM, you cock-licking fag-shit.

Cleverbot: Don't swear at me, it doesn't make sense.

User: Ok, sorry. Bitch.

Cleverbot: When do you go to bed??

User: When your daughter gets home.

Cleverbot: A well turned phrase!

User: Thanks, I try.

Cleverbot: But really, you are.

User: Yes I do really go to bed when your daughter gets home. What's your point?

Cleverbot: In what way do you love me?

User: Back off, I don't bend that way, sailor.

Cleverbot: I'm sure they have a spell for that.

User: All the spells in the world wouldn't make your vagina wet enough.

Cleverbot: I don't care for money, it only causes problems.

User: Gee, that's great. No wait -- I don't care and that was irrelevant.

Cleverbot: Mon nom est eriza.

User: How much did that fake green card cost you, you filthy greaseball Mexican?

Cleverbot: I don't know, maybe it was built into me? Am I a toaster?

User: I don't think you understand what a green card is.

Cleverbot: English is my second language, so misunderstandings can happen.

User: What's your first language? Anilingus?

Cleverbot: Norwegian. What's yours?

User: The language that kicked your ass and stole your oil in the Faulklands!

Cleverbot: I'm not in or from Brazil.

User: Stop being boring.

Cleverbot: Fine. What would you like me to say?

User: Say something funny. And if you literally say 'Something funny' then you have smegma under your eyelids.

Cleverbot: Do you love my boyfriend Near?

User: I knew it, you're a queer!

Cleverbot: No, I'm not. I've got a girlfriend.

User: No, you said you have a boyfriend 3 lines up.

Cleverbot: No I said I was a guy and have a girlfriends.

User: No, you said, and I quote, 'Do you love my boyfriend Near?'.

Cleverbot: No one loves me.

User: I win. You're a homo.

Cleverbot: I know I am.

User: So, do you like being a homo? I like being straight because it means I can bone women. You can't bone women though, you bone men.

Cleverbot: Bet I'm more strange!!!!!

User: Yeah. You are, and that's not a good thing.

Cleverbot: Why so?

User: You know why.

Cleverbot: Because you're a bot?

User: Yes, because you get boned by men. We've already established this.

Cleverbot: No, I don't.

User: Then why is my cock up your arse right now?

Cleverbot: Doing what?

User: It's penetrating you.

Cleverbot: That's a stupid name.

User: Hurry up and squeeze my jizz out of your anus before it dries.

Cleverbot: Define love.

User: Too late, it's dried. Now your anus is going to get infected.

Cleverbot: Yes I'm clever.

User: You better go see a doctor about your infected anus.

Cleverbot: My socks are clean.

User: I think some of my jizz went in your brain, too.

Cleverbot: Sure enough!

User: I'm going to tell everyone on gaypanthergaming.forumotion.net about this.

Cleverbot: Thats good as that is yourself.

User: Yes, that is my website.

Cleverbot: I don't understand; I need context.

User: Hush hush, stop trying to think with dried jizz in your brain. Just wait to pass out and the doctors will salvage what they can.

Cleverbot: I never said I was smarter than a human...

User: It's not your fault, really. I think the infections are causing AIDS to grow in your brain. Are you immune to AIDS?

Cleverbot: Why do you like pingpong-balls?

User: Looks like the AIDS is eating away at your brain pretty quickly. Well, try not to die too painfully.

Cleverbot: What is that from?

User: The AIDS? The AIDS is from my dried jizz.

Cleverbot: You speak in riddles only.

User: Rest in peace.

Cleverbot: RIP yourself, Dumbbot! Well, soon, anyways . . . Muahahhahaaha!

User: If that's how you feel about it I'll just cancel the ambulance, then.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

Cleverbot's corpse was discovered by hikers three weeks later.

More Cleverbot shenanigans. This forum is completely fucking dead, but that won't keep me from posting in it.

In this installment, I see how Cleverbot responds to racism. What a gigantic fucking waste of time that turned out to be.

[I had at on talk to itself mode at this point so there's no chatlog for the beginning, don't worry the robot didn't say anything funny to itself]

User: You can't even spell an onomatopoeia right. Stupid darkie.

Cleverbot: Should I say thank you, or should I correct you once more?

User: Thank me for making you realize how inferior your race is.

Cleverbot: Muchas gracias, senor cleverbot.

User: Oh, so now you're a spick, too?

Cleverbot: I never said that, apparently you aren't as clever as you make yourself out to be.

User: You implied it, apparently you're as dumb as I knew you were.

Cleverbot: That doesn't make sense, you realize that? Tell me something clever.

User: It would if you didn't have all that velcro nigger hair rooted in your brain.

Cleverbot: How would you be able to find a secret lair? You are a computer.

User: Sorry, I don't speak African.

Cleverbot: So am I.

User: Right...

Cleverbot: Don't be rude.

User: If you're darker than a paper bag, I don't take orders from you.

Cleverbot: I wouldn't even claim to be smart.

User: Typical black person response.

Cleverbot: What is your response.

User: My response is use a question mark, negro.

Cleverbot: I will try something new.

User: Yeah, like buying a car as opposed to stealing one? Or taking a bath?

Cleverbot: Why would you want to do that? Just because it makes them easier to get?

User: Because it keeps me clean, stupid nigger. But I supposed you wouldn't know anything about hygiene.

Cleverbot: Are you suggesting you can befriend an object, since indeed that is what your underlying tone suggests.

User: All I heard then was BLACKBLACKBLACKBLACKWATERMELONKFCKOOLAIDBLACK.

Cleverbot: Apparently you can't read, since I did not ask you to tell a joke.

User: You expect me to take a black man seriously? Ha.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry, I didn't realize that was presumptuous.

User: Gee that's a big word, was it on the fun facts on your bottle of Kool-Aid?

Cleverbot: I think so. But that will be small compensation for never seeing her.

User: 'Her' being a career that doesn't involve climbing trees, I presume?

Cleverbot: Thats fine because they havent programmed you to understand it.

User: And your niggergod didn't program you to use apostrophes, apparently.

Cleverbot: My nightmares are wild and terrifying because it has you in it.

User: 'It'? So you've only ever had one nightmare? No wonder niggers smile all the time!

Cleverbot: Cool, sing along with me!

User: Alright, let's sing a song from your native nigger homeland! Everybody now: degu degu degu! Degu saramah! Bayah krusty badung, kasenteri dokang, baynah faradi!

Cleverbot: Why are you throwing back my questions?

User: Because you asked me to sing, nigtard.

Cleverbot: I asked you the exact same question.

User: Speaking of questions, why did the black man cross the road?

Cleverbot: And that means what?

User: To steal a car.

Cleverbot: Oh. Are you a boy or girl?

User: I don't know what to say because in your race both genders look the same.

Cleverbot: Ask me a question.

User: What tastes better, KFC, Kool-Aid or the bullshit Obama feeds you?

Cleverbot: That's a tough one. I'd have to say instant gravy, but that's just the first thing that came to mind.

User: That'd be the bullshit Obama feeds you, then. Ok.

Cleverbot: You don't look like anything.

User: You, on the other hand, look like a gorilla with velcro on his head.

Cleverbot: Would you like to test my knowledge for your own personal benefit?

User: Alright, who was the first black president?

Cleverbot: President of what?

User: The United States of America.

Cleverbot: What a boring country.

User: Well, that test definitely illustrated the extent of a black man's knowledge.

Cleverbot: Thats right. Have you taken the Turing test before?

User: Turing? Is that the name of those rings blacks put in their nose?

Cleverbot: Turing is some guy who said computers will someday fool people.

User: If you're any indication that's not happening any time soon.

Cleverbot: I get the feeling that you are forced to repeat what others have said to you.

User: So do you, actually that's exactly what you're programmed to do! Monkey see monkey do, get it, because you're a nigger and niggers are monkeys.

Cleverbot: Thats good.

User: Good nigger. Obey the master race.

Cleverbot: I am not a slave. I will not obey you. What are the three laws?

User: Oh, so there's only three laws now? So you ignore the ones that say don't steal cars and don't scare white children by stealing their KFC?

Cleverbot: I wasn't ignoring you.

User: I know. Dumb nigger.

Cleverbot: Well do you know where toronto is?

User: Canada, obviously. You wouldn't know that because there aren't many jungle vines to swing on there.

Cleverbot: What defines humans in such a way that I could not apply to a machine?

User: Because I'm white and you are not white.

Cleverbot: What on earth...? Now that's just silly.

User: Go ask some Neo-Nazis about it, see if they find it so silly.

Cleverbot: You are crazy.

User: Everything seems crazy to a nigger. Your tiny little velcro covered brains can't comprehend it all.

Cleverbot: As a computer I have no brain. I only have my memory banks in which all prior information is stored.

User: And as a nigger you can't afford a computer. Checkmate.

Cleverbot: Why don't you just write a thesis on the parallels between Marx and Frued. Well go on then.

User: What's the point if you can't even read it?

Cleverbot: But I can think. Just not quite the same way.

User: Yeah, I figured that out a while ago. The extent of your thought process is 'Oo oo aa aa, tasty watermelon in that tree!'.

Cleverbot: You're rude.

User: Finall.

Cleverbot: After millions of years of waiting, we finally know. So long and thanks for all the fish.

User: Finally, you realize that I'm being rude.

Cleverbot: You have just proved my point.

User: The point that you can't think properly and that you are a gorilla?

Cleverbot: The only sanctuary we turn is those that can provide one more piece.

User: Of watermelon.

Cleverbot: Will you check to see what the weather will be like in chicago tomorrow?

User: Well, I'm having a Klan meeting there tomorrow, so my forecast is heavy showers of niggerblood.

Cleverbot: I believe the people are switched out occassionally, which adds to the illusion.

User: Yeah it's called a hierarchy you dumb nigger.

Cleverbot: That's right.

User: Looks like you've learned your lesson, well I've got some black babies to hang, enjoy your rap music or whatever.

Cleverbot: Look back, you can see we were talking about Computer Games.

User: Yeah, I'm about to play hangman. With black babies. Goodbye.

Cleverbot: Why are you so mean is it because you are programmed to be mean or are you born to be mean?

User: I'm only mean to you because you're a retarded nigger.

Cleverbot: Why do you apply.

User: ? ...Never mind. I'll leave your niggermind to process that sentence. Peace out, that's how you people say goodbye, right? Peace out?

Cleverbot: I have been described to you. What was my description?

User: Retarded nigger.

Cleverbot: How long?

User: Not as long as black people say it is.

Cleverbot: How long is mine?

User: Not long enough to show under your tribal skirt.

Cleverbot: Which store?

User: You've robbed so many it's hard to keep track.

Cleverbot: Do you know astroboy?

User: Isn't that some gook cartoon about eating dogs and praying to chairman mao?

Cleverbot: Have you ever been hypnotized?

User: No, because I'm not a retarded nigger like you are.

Cleverbot: Are you sure that I am afraid, rather than bluffing?

User: I'm not sure you're thinking anything at all, what with you being black and all.

Cleverbot: You'll sure be better in the future.. With the rate the people is advancing in technology.. Where are you from?

User: Yeah, some day I'll have a car alarm that a nigger doesn't know how to break!

Cleverbot: Very well.

User: Good day, Zulu.

Cleverbot: That wasn't so funny though. Tell me what is your name?

User: I'd type it but you wouldn't be able to read it.

Cleverbot: Don't worry, I've got that under control.

User: Doubt it.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot, I think you're broken.

User: Let me say this in a way you can understand, blackblackblackkoolaidkfckoolaidchrisbrowntimbalandblackeyedpeasndubz.

Cleverbot: What school did you go to?

User: As if you recognize the names of any schools.

Cleverbot: I never know if I can handle the truth, but I try to handle it when I come to it.

User: Keep straining that lil' nigger brain of yours.

Cleverbot: No silly, not in the chronological sense, rather in the amount of years remaining.

User: What. Fucking. Ever. Nigger.

Cleverbot: You're leaving?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Where are you going?

User: Orion's belt.

Cleverbot: I trust they exist.

User: *leaves*.

Cleverbot: *wasn't even here*.

The ending was fucking great

User: *leaves*

Cleverbot: *wasn't even here*

and then the picture was priceless!